Dear Diary,
I'm procrastinating. I really shouldn't, but I am.
To be fair, the procrastination is being given fire through the lack of a stable internet connection. I have udemy courses and youtube playlists I want to watch and learn from. I desperately need a better internet connection. I can get it, but I'm moving this December to my condo where I'll live in for the entirety of my studying in Cybersecurity.
I am not efficiently using my resources so I'm still to blame. I have a couple more informative books but I can't seem to find the interest or energy to read through them and learn more about coding.
The other day, I ate 5 sticks of Toblerone all in one sitting. It was not by any means my most dignified moment. Usually, I'd eat 6 lol
Okay. So I'm fat and undisciplined. But I'm working on it, truly. I can be disciplined better because I'm living independently without a caretaker. Of course, my cousin is still here--but we don't live in dependence with each other. We don't wash each other's clothes or wash each other's dishes. Both of us are independent now. Where was I? Oh yeah, discipline.
I told myself that I would continue reading through the coding book after I update this website. Coffee is a drug and I plan on studying all night to my heart's content. No more depressed Sun here. I'm going to have fun learning and get back on track. I'll also update this website regularly again. Maybe I'll add Kiriel back but with better code for the website. Maybe I'll finally add images to the empty shrines here. Who knows? Stay tuned.
Ok. So I've been in the dumps all this time. I guess it started when I first ordered through foodpanda and stopped actually cooking my food. Then it went into the spiral of eating many, many things that aren't healthy. Ordering food caused the domino effect and my mental health suffered. It might be different for you, but it seems to be like this for me. This simple ordering of food caused my laziness. I wasn't cooking anymore. I was also draining away my allowance for the week. I'm planning to cook tomorrow morning. I've already cooked my dinner for today because I was excited to finally have a plan.
That's my brainstorming process, anyway. In other news, you might've already know this through reading but I'm taking udemy courses now. I seem to like studying about cybersecurity and IT fundamentals. I don't understand the concepts, though. But that's why I'm learning them in the first place. I'm excited to finally put my schedule in motion once classes start. I'm a cybersecurity student in college now. I mustn't tarry. I need to understand the concepts before classes start or I'll get left behind again.
Have I added here that I'm actually a college dropout? To be fair, in both cases of dropping out, I left in my own accord. My psychology professor in DLSU made me sick to my stomach. I kinda get why since I was definitely childish, but his authority as a professor should not be a dictator but a leader. He was a dictator. For the other college, I've been in a bad mental space. All I was thinking about were doom and gloom. Worrying was my drug in the end of studying Medical Technology in TUA. The program was hard. It was an expensive and quality education, but I was an undisciplined student. Of course, I learned a bunch of things. But I wasn't focused on just the subjects. I was watching youtube videos about a variety of stuff. Some were playthroughs of games, I'm not gonna lie. But there were some that were documentaries. There were some that were informative but engaging youtube videos. I was going through information overload. My attention was all over the place from fashion to history to anthropology to religion to insects to art to learning how to play different instruments to fungi to parasites to chemistry to physics to chess to geography to magick to english to filipino to french to german to russian. Such is the case in the age of information. If not ignorance, then obtuseness. If not focused brilliance, then mediocrity in all areas.
The thing is, I want to have both of those.